(borrowed from my retirement magazine – I added the pictures)
The elderly congregation was perplexed when the preacher
pulled out a pocket watch and threw it to the end of the
room. It slammed into wall and fell to floor in pieces, but
the watch kept ticking.
“What does this demonstration tell you about life?” The
preacher challenged the congregation.
A man in the back slowly stood up, leaning on his cane. He
stared down at the ticking clock.
“Well, preacher, I suspect this watch shows that time flies
and stops for no one.”
Last year, I replaced all the windows in my house with
those expensive double pane energy efficient kind. But
this week, I got a call from the contractor complaining
that his work had been completed a whole year and I had
yet to pay for them.
Boy, oh boy, did we go around! Just because I’m blonde
doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had
told me last year. He said that in one year, the windows
would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other
end of the line, so I just hung up, and he hasn’t called back.
Guess he was embarrassed.
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool… After
catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.